I need therapy NOT religion

There has to be a better world out there. A world where I can go to and get away from religion. Because right now, it seems to be budging in everywhere I look. Every freaking where. I can’t seem to have a conversation with a sensible person that doesn’t end up quoting some cliche bible verse.

I hope it was so easy, you know. That I could smile and walk away as I have always done. I wish that it could bother me less. I am often thinking I will let people be whatever they want as long as they don’t wave their religions on my face. But, as it turns out, they cant!

I am in here trying to get help for me too. I am trying to find a purpose to keep fighting in a system where I seem to have given up on pretty much everything. I appreciate the fact that for others who are like me, words of the good old history book gives them peace. That spewing these words over and over and over makes them feel and cope better. I am understanding enough to give them that.

But I seem to be the only one doing the understanding bit.

I can’t pay for an hour of therapy where I have to sit through verses and dogmas I consider pretty stupid being spewed over and over. I need this therapy too. I need help too. And the last feeling I want soaring through me at the end of a therapy session is red hot anger! RED HOT ANGER!

But I have no choice, right? I have to sit through it. Because for some fucked up reason, even though this is not a religious-based institution, I live in a largely Christian nation and so it will be crammed down my throat everywhere I look. It will be laced with beautiful anecdotes that somehow end up painting me…the one who is trying to get the therapy session back to practical therapy solution…as the one with the problem. Because if I cant find peace in the amazing light that is god, whose fault is it but my own?

Or…and this is the first time I have been on the edge enough in the 10 days I have been here to take this particular option…I could walk away. I walked away from a therapy session that is already paid for because it was doing me more harm than good. Actually, considering I’m still shaking as I write this, I may be, should have walked off a lot sooner.

Given, I am on the edge today. I am nervous, anxious and a bit mad at the situation that I am at. But I think a psychologists job should be to ensure that a group session is beneficial to all persons involved. Be it the super religious ones or those that like me that are heading for hell or brimstone-so to speak.

Bloody hell, this is my last freaking resort. This place has to work! And just for the record…in case my therapist reads this. The whole deep breaths 15 times. DID NOT BLOODY WORK!

x

Deb

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9 comments

  1. You’re right – you certainly don’t need religion. I am sorry you have had bible verses thrown at you too. The God behind the verses can help you, but if the verse is given as a glib shove-off, a put-you-right with no real love behind it, then it is very frustrating to hear.

    I hope one day you will be able to see a bible verse that will really help you because it has been given to you by a heart that has been praying for you and admits that they do not always know the answers. A heart that loves you enough to have listened to God long enough to know which verse will actually bless you. The bible is a healer if used in the right way – used the way God intended it to be used. I wish you all the best.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks but no thanks…but this pretty much does the same thing the group therapy did. I am an Atheist. So I am never going to find the answer to my problem in God. So…no, I don’t need your prayers…or religion. This right here is what this whole post is about.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks for taking the time to reply Deby. We all have a choice and I respect yours. It’s a shame you feel that way as he loves you so much but I guess our kids don’t always recognise the loving things we do for them either. I wish you all the best.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Ooh, I am so sorry you had this experience, and I hope your anger has subsided. I’m not an atheist, but I’m VERY secular and so for the most part, I find religious people annoying and I have a very low tolerance about it. There’s nothing like being the only one in a room of zealots, either. Ugh. I’ve not been where you are, but I’ve been in some dark places so I know it’s good to try A LOT of things, just to see what works, helps, jibes with you. Religion ain’t it for me, and it’s okay if it’s not it for you. I hope things are moving away from religion now?

    Liked by 1 person

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